Intervention Time?

Does this....... (Favorite Hobby = Drinking Beer)

Lead to this???

Flipping through my old E.M.T. book, I happened to come across this interesting photo portraying the adverse effects of drinking alcohol. Suffice to say, it wasn't the effects that intrigued me, but rather the uncanny likeliness to one Mr. Dane Reynolds of Ventura, CA.

Is Dane moonlighting as a Delirium Tremen-induced bar fly for some medical book artist? (Art is also another one of his favorite hobbies...) Is my E.M.T. book some grim glimpse into the surfing future a la Biff's sports book in Back to the Future Part II ?

One of the first warning signs perhaps occurred during the 2008 Boost Mobile Pro at Trestles, where according to Surfermag.com, Dane was feeling a bit under the weather.

"My stomach hurt because I ate gas station food before my heat," he replied following an opening round victory.

Uh-oh. Stomach aches? Gas station food? Not a good sign. Nobody eats gas station food unless you are currently drunk, or currently hungover. And that stomach ache, could that be the volatile mixture of Southern Comfort, Coors Light, and Hostess' powdered-sugar mini-donuts? Very suspicious...

Despite being awarded ASP Rookie of the Year in '08, Mr. Reynolds has yet to live up to his mega-hype, posting a season-opening 9th, followed by four straight 33rds. Tales of late-night partying and constant double-fisting were running rampant during the first half of the '09 season. Yes, he did post a career-best 3rd at the hangover-curing cold waters of J-Bay, but what is a man to do during the long gap between South Africa in July and Trestles in September? For a man who lists drinking beer as his favorite hobby, there is little doubt about it. Stay with us Dane! The ASP World Tour needs you!